Thursday, October 04, 2007

The South may not rise again!

Alabama... isn’t that the US state which always comes in dead last in state school and public health rankings (or is perhaps tied with Mississippi)? Well, Alabama has always had a reputation for being a little behind the times...perhaps not unjustifiably so.
This very week, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear a challenge to Alabama’s law banning the sale of sex toys. Alabama is one of a handful of states, including Texas and Georgia, with laws restricting sales of sex toys. The Alabama “anti-obscenity” law bans the sale of sex toys but not their possession. Violators are subject to a maximum $10,000 fine and one year in jail.
Surely, sex toys are in the ...uh... eye of the beholder. Will they outlaw selling whipped cream or ice cubes or handcuffs? How about zucchini or falafels? Or those cell phones that vibrate? C'mon people, this is the 21st century after all... What you do in your bedroom is your business... How about flavoured condoms? Couldn't (wouldn't) they be considered a toy of sorts? Where does it end? The argument “but officer it's just a "neck massager, honest” certainly isn’t gonna work in Alabama. Just to be "safe", I would recommend forced amputation of fingers. The risk is just too great of someone, somewhere (God forbid!) giving themselves pleasure. Once again, Alabamians are getting the shaft, just not in their local store;-)
Question: If you are busted buying a dildo in Alabama, will you have to register with the state as a sex crime offender? Think about it.

34 comments:

The HOR blogger said...

That's just an outrage. What about all of those poor folk without access to the internet and can't order online??? They're reduced to traveling perhaps hundreds of miles to go across the border to buy a dildo!

They shouldn't be subjected to spending an insane amount of money due to GAS prices alone just to go out and find a love wand. This is just un-american, it's not humane!!!

Lord Nazh© said...

Stan: on the whipped cream, et al. They have another purpose, so would pass the muster :)

and to you last question, they didn't ban BUYING just selling, so no you wouldn't have to register.

I've met the lady from Pleasures who has been pursuing this for 10 years... very nice woman.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

SElling a dildo, yes, by the sounds of it.

Fifteen US states still have laws againist oral sex.

And in one state, it is illegal for guests to sleep naked in a hotel.

CityUnslicker said...

and Cigars too... they were popular with a certain type of Southern man.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hey Stan baby...that is just stupid, but stupid is what stupid does. God, where did I hear that?

Hey maybe grocery stores should label warnings on zucchini..may be considered a sex toy if bought with condoms or butter or Crisco or...

Sweetie babes...hehe, I think flavored comdoms are in the snack food section of the grocery stores with all the fruit roll-ups, so can be considered food and not a sex toy...hey.

Thank god I buy all my dildos and zucchini in Oregon and California.

Ciao baby.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I think there should be a seven day waiting period before you can buy a dildo.

Newmania said...

Masturbation is punishable by death in Indonesia and the avergae number of sex toys per woman( two here)is 0.36. True


...why do we liike Muslim sex dolls ...altogether

They blow themselves up

Get in there !

phishez_rule said...

That's a crime I'd happily be registered for.

So what happens with internet sales. If the actual sale happens on the net, there's no real location for it to be pinned to. Or it could be located out of state.

electro-kevin said...

I would think that the Alabamanians view a dildo as ...

an offensive weapon ?

Boom boom !

Lord Higham-Johnson said...

You'd know more about this than I, Stan.

mutleythedog said...

Is oral sex still illegal there? It was for a long while - I wonder if Police men went rounding examining toothbrushes for pubic hairs?

Helen said...

Perhaps a sex-toy-raiser for our horny brethren in 'Bama is in order. Or another Selma to Montgomery march.

Little Lamb said...

About me not blogging for now, I will still visit your blog. You're not rid of me, yet.

Little Lamb said...

I'm back and haven't been gone very long.

UBERMOUTH said...

I am not into sex toys ( unless men count as such) but I think thye shuld be more concerned about the KKK thna the KJ!
You are kinda perverted Stan! I think YOU would be arrested in Alabama.
I know in Florida it is illegal to have intercourse with a fish!BUt thye are so koi.

Newmania said...

Gone a bit quiet round `ere

Gracchi said...

God almighty- comedy unleashed this is one of those laws which would be difficult to prosecute especially if Lord N is right about its terming. I can't quite imagine anything that might not have another use!

Kitty said...

if oral sex and dildos are illegal how do you be a lezzer there?

Helen said...

Are you ill again, Stan? (I was going to say sick, but that would be a bit open for interpretation)

Stan!! said...

Hor,
Avoid Alabama....like the plague. They'll put you on death row.
His Lordship,
You've met the lady from Pleasures. I am impressed.
crushed,
Like myself, you seem to have a keen interest in these important matters of personal freedom.

Stan!! said...

City,
Bubba was a man of multiple talents.

Stan!! said...

Spiky,
I believe it is a crime not to own dildos and zucchini in Oregon and California.
Dyck,
LMAO....that was inspired wit.

Lord Nazh© said...

oral sex is not illegal in Alabama, owning a sex toy is not illegal in Alabama, even though I hate this state, there are plenty of good people here :)

And Mississippi comes in last on all the tests

Stan: she was an impressive lady, funny too.

Joe Noory said...

All the better. Haven't you ever notices that the women out there with battery operated boyfriends tend to be too psychotic to keep anything decent going with an actual human?

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