Friday, September 21, 2007

The internets is bullshit

In kindergarten, he had an interest in Barbie dolls. At home, when he was allowed, he wore dresses. Indeed, he still does. The self-proclaimed “Queen of Ghetto” from "Bitch Island" likes to wear fake eyelashes too.Hmmmmmmm....
Now millions beg for the favours of the young man with the Southern drawl and the extravagant mascara, declaring their love at his genius. I refer to Chris Crocker, the pseudonym of the tear-stained 19-year-old, Britney Spears fan who became an internet sensation after his YouTube defence of the embattled star’s widely-derided performance at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas earlier this month.
In the two-minute film (watched by more than 8 million people to date), the blond video blogger chokes back tears as mascara streams down his face, lambasting those who have criticised the singer.“Her song is called 'Gimme More,’ ’cause all you people want is more, more, more, more, more ... you’re lucky she even performed for you bastards!” he shrieks. Crocker has now been approached by a reality television company 44 Blue Productions to follow the YouTube star’s life as a persecuted gay man in a small Bible Belt town.
Now listen up!
The world is screwed.
How is this news? Its bad enough we have celebrity blogs covering Britneys performance now we have to see this freakin' asshole too. Now don’t be hating Stan!! I don't care that Crocker's gay or that he wears dresses, I do care that he has a persecution complex about everything and feels obligated to whore himself out for attention at every opportunity. I just feel someone should send him to boot camp. He might just like it...If you know what I’m saying.
Goddamnit, the power of the internets means that this man could go far....Scary, isn’t it?

22 comments:

Little Lamb said...

Yes, it is scary.

electro-kevin said...

Trash celebrity culture is the issue, not the medium itself.

Krissie said...

I understand him to a degree. *shrugs* And no, I don't care to elaborate.
Although I agree it's no news and that part sucks.

mutleythedog said...

I agree with you Stan! I have filmed myself in several similar videos and none of them have taken off like his! Do you think I should keep trying? Your advice would be welcome...

electro-kevin said...

Off topic ...

Do you think there is a gap in the market for pies in Istanbul ?

Helen said...

LEAVE HIM ALOOOONE!!! SNIIIIFFFFF ALL HE WANTS IS TO TELL THE FUCKING WOOORRRRLLLDDD---

Ok, I can't even go on like that. You're right, it is ridiculous. But let us remember that success means achieving personal goals and earning the respect of peers, being thrust in the spot-light to bow and jig for mammon is, was, and always will be the realm of jesters and whores.

Helen said...

Stan, I just visited his myspace page, and watched a few more videos. Seems he has made a concerted effort to establish his persona and have an internet presence, so he is concerned about accomplishing his goals and achieving recognition (not to jig and bow as I said before). I retract the mockery in my previous comment, it was callous and uninformed. He doesn't seem to be afraid of offending or holding an unpopular opinion, and I can appreciate and admire that.

electro-kevin said...

I won't even deign to watch. A raging pox on his garden produce.

Newmania said...

Your metamorphosis is complete.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I likes the Betty Crocker cake mix. That bitch is damn tasty yo.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

He'll bomb- trust me...a flash in the pan. 15 minutes of fame have turned into 15 seconds.

(which is about all the internet time I have at the moment :)

You live in my head said...

Are you in league with puppet monkey?

Your IP address is similar.

phishez_rule said...

We can go that far? Shit. I've gotta get to work!

Anonymous said...

Homophobes!Leave Crocker alone!!!!!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Stan, you could always copy him...

I forse an an internet version of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.'

mutleythedog said...

Homophobes! Leave Crocker alone!
ooops my anonymous thing is off!!

Kitty said...

oh look - that weirdy cunt 'i live in my arse' is lurking stan.

fuck off you dumb cunt!

Kitty said...

stan!!.....where are you baby??? i missing you!

Lord Higham- Murray said...

The internet might be bullshit but congrats anyway on your Top 100 listing. Liked your comment on Jenny! too. :)

Stan!! said...

Lambo,
this kind of story gives me sleepless nights.
Electro-Kevin,
You are right...but I couldn't resist a controversial headline.
Kriiiissssie,
Yes.
Mutley,
Embrace the media....they will grab you by the balls and never let go.
Electro-Kevin,
No.
Helen,
No.
Electro-Kevin,
Raging pox?I have no idea what you are talking about.
Newmsie,
I think not. This is still a political blog you know.
Mighty D,
Who is Betty Crocker? Is she gay too?
Mayden,
we can but hope that he will bomb....but I'm not sure.
You live in my head,
Show me your jugs.
Phishez,
Get to work! Don't waste any more time here.
Anonymong,
Fuck off.
Crushed,
Are you implying that Stan is of a homosexual persuasion?
Mutley,
So that was you. Oooooh, you are naughty.
Kitty,
I have been neglecting you, haven't I? Stan is ill. Not that anyone cares.
James,
Thanks. I think I might have to change the title on this piece.

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