Friday, August 10, 2007

The biggest pimp of them all

Is there no decency left in this sick, sad world of ours? The British Department for Work and Pensions Jobcentre Plus website is currently hosting advertisements promising adults up to £100-an-hour for work at “escort agencies”. I have to say that I am shocked by these adverts which could lead countless men into lives of prostitution. One advert, promising £90-an-hour to over-18s in Cardiff, states: "Duties involve providing clients with a personal escort service in an unsupervised environment….Experience is preferred but is not essential. Duties will involve escorting and accompanying members of the public which may cause embarrassment to some people."At least, the hours are flexible I suppose. Big Brother will, of course, be taking his cut from the “earnings”.Perhaps I should freshen up my resumé...

44 comments:

Jenny! said...

If you have to pay for it...you are probably too ugly ot get it for free!

Stan! said...

...like Dyckerson.

Jenny! said...

Did you add the ! to your name recently???

Stan! said...

Yep. So you like the ! You inspire me, you know. Kiss the single life good-bye, let's go to Vegas. Don can be Best Man. We can bring Dyck and Mutley to witness our nuptial passion...

mutleythedog said...

I am only coming for some action.. could you invite one of those Jobcentre hookers along?

Cappy said...

Hahahaha. You Brits are funny. I saw it once on Monty Python.

Stan! said...

Mutley,
They will be at your beck and call.
Cappa,
I have no idea what you are talking about.

Kizzie said...

I think I read about this somewhere, are the girls eastern european?

Stan! said...

Kizzie,
Thanks. I expect they are mainly Eastern Europe. Recent reports
indicate that around 1,500 women a year (although it was estimated as high as 3,000 in 2003 alone) are trafficked into Britain each year, with women often then forced into prostitution.
The British Government finally introduced an offence of trafficking for sexual exploitation in 2003.The UK Human Trafficking Centre was opened last year to co-ordinate the law-enforcement approach to the problem.....but it now seems that a UK government agency is itself indirectly contributing to the problem. As Americans would say, go figure.

Dyck!! said...

Hey, I just told her I had cash. I didn't say I was going to give her any of it.

Jenny! said...

Dyck:
It's not your cash I am after!

Stan:
I kind of like Mutley, can I be his hooker for a night before we get hitched!

Stan! said...

Dyck,
Keep your assets to yourself. You're impressing noone here, fella.
Jenny,
Obviously, Dyck's charm and intellect are magnetic in and of themselves. So cash would only ever be a secondary consideration.Sure.
*If Mutley (who does not believe in pre-marital sex)so much as lays a finger, or any other extremity upon you, I'll get my Best Man Don to kick his ass.

mutleythedog said...

I don't have any other kind than post marital sex Mrs Stan! My "marriage" of 18 years ended in March and actually any kind of non solo sex would be fun...

Stan! said...

Mutley, I sympathise-How about we make a deal? You throw in a vibrating mutley for Mrs Stan and I'll allow you to take one bite of my soon-to-be virtual wife's cherry... and then you can hit the road. For good.
Stan

Jenny! said...

Mutley:
Be careful what you wish for..there are some ugly ass bitches out there...and solo sex is so much better! It appears that I have been offered up in a deal, but I couldn't have you bite me just once!

Stan:
We aren't even married yet, and you are already making decisions for me??? What kind of crap is that...I don't think you realize that YOU would be taking the orders from me after we get married!

Stan! said...

Cupcake,

I want you now,
I'll try to show you how,
you're the only one for me,
Why can't you see...
Mutley and Dyck
are only interested in poon,
But Stan's a man with a higher plan,
'hope to wed ya soon.

Let's not fight, hun. You know I still suffer from possessive-male-syndrome and fear my lady will be stolen away from me....
So don't get lippy with me again MISSY! or I'll have to bend you to my will...

Jenny! said...

Hmmmmm, that sounds good...you want to spank me for being lippy???

Stan! said...

Jenny!
I was thinking more along the lines of a musical performance.You could play my skin flute.And I might play your rusty trumpet....if you’re really lucky.

Dyck!! said...

Ode to Jenny!
(A poem by Mighty Dyckerson)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My schlong is ginormous,
And I'd like to slide it in you.

Stan! said...

Subtle…

Ode to Dyck!!

Every morrow,
Dyck feels his sorrow,
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
His Schlong has long since turned to rust!

mutleythedog said...

I have filled the bath with bubbles ...and fired up the Belling
I hoped it would be a wonderful night
but I can't rhyme because I'm not good at spelling.

Newmania said...

One advert for the Cardiff area, posted by a “unisex escort agency”, offers wages of £90 per hour for a permanent position

I think for a permenant position I might want to be paid a bit more . Thuink of the cramp !

Miss Smack said...

Stan, thanks so much for your support with the boob exercise! I really appreciate it and I'm sure the ladies that submitted bra photos do too!

Keep an eye on it, eh?

We're thinking of wrapping it up soon although one guy suggested we never close it!!

Can't please everyone, eh?

Thanks mate!

Jenny! said...

You two are poetic genuises! I think I will slip into Mutley's tub though...his bubbles sound fantastic!

Mistress Empyrean said...

I wish the government would pay for me to have a Ford Escort

Stan! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stan! said...

Smack,
I have a good handle on boobs. The pleasure was all mine.
Jenny,
I bet Don is feeling the heat.He is now confronted by two Alpha males in their prime all questing for your affection.
Mistress,
I can now see that my instincts weren't wrong. Will you marry me?
As for the other issue I might be able to provide you with an old clunker...

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Did you add the ! to your name recently???

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