Thursday, November 23, 2006

Ten things I wouldn't do

As I have been tagged by Guthrum, here are the ten things I would not do as per the yesterdays Telegraph

1.Vote Labour (naturally)
2. Have sexual relations with John Prescott (or Pauline for that matter)
3. Join the Taliban (I hear they are recruiting)
4.Live in Croydon- a hotbed of almost unimaginable sin and depravity
5.Have a facial tatoo
6.Read any of the Harry Potter books
7.Agree with Polly Toynbee
8. Say “Neil Kinnock was one of the leading political philosophers of late twentieth century Britain”
9.Attend a Rolling Stones concert
10. Have a pony tail- God Forbid!

21 comments:

Ellee said...

No 2 is a definite no no, but ponytails suit some men, they can look really cute.

istanbultory said...

Can you imagine Mr Croydonian with one? Men over the age of 35 should never, ever have a pony tail....

Anonymous said...

Agree with all that...now I will have to compile ten of my own...

And men of any age shouldn't have a pony tail.

vikki said...

"Join the Taliban (I hear they are recruiting)"

Esteemed collegue, what..... with thy level of campaign against T Blair.......would you not at least give it another thought?

Colin said...

Esteemed collegue, ... with thy level of campaign against T Blair

Too much of a good thing can ...

Croydonian said...

IT old bean,what's wrong with 'unimaginable sin and depravity'?

istanbultory said...

Vikki,
Much as I loathe Princess Emily, I still rule out membership of the Taliban (at the moment).
Croydonian,
I lead a life of moral rectitude and virtuousness unlike the vice-ridden hoardes of that modern Day Sodom and Gommorah...

Croydonian said...

IT - I salute your courage, your indefatigability....

Colin said...

Istanbultory,

As far as I know, I am virtuousness in person. What would I have to expect if I move to modern Day Sodom and Gommorah?

Ellee said...

Well, instead of Croydon, there is always Cambridge, is that still a possibility?

colin said...

Ellee,

I adore Cambridge. Unfortunately, I am completely ignorant with regard to Croydon. Is it a household name, if yes for what? Where can I obtain more information about that mysterious place?

Croydonian said...

Colin, you don't know the (cough) 'Florence of the North'?

istanbultory said...

'Florence of the North'?
I thought that was Putney.

Anonymous said...

8. Say “Neil Kinnock was one of the leading political philosophers of late twentieth century Britain”

I love that one and it sums up the sweetest irony of the useless taff cunt...

Croydonian said...

Verona and Dresden have both been styled 'the Florence of the North', and - I'm not making this up - Ottawa fancied its chances too.

istanbultory said...

'the Florence of the North'
So Wolverhampton could be in with a chance...?

Croydonian said...

Brum likes pointing out it has more miles of canals than Venice, so why not?

Colin said...

You are all making me curious to visit the Florence of the North next time when I am in the area.

The city centre is lookimg cosy. And Croydonians seem to live quite comfortably.

istanbultory said...

Yes, Colin but beneath the placid surface...lurks untold iniquity and depravity.

Croydonian said...

Quite nice, Croydonian Towers, eh?

But steer clear of New Addington - it is the Land God Gave to Cain.

kris said...

I am working in Croydon for the next few weeks- a new low. I'm so ashamed. At least I get to return north of the river at the end of the day. Pity those who never get a break!